Summoning your inner CIVIL WARRIOR™ starts with honesty: One average Jo’s ongoing journey to sound mental health By: Kristy Short, EdD

If I have to go one more round with Anxiety, suffer through another night of Depression’s suffocating weight, it might just be time to tap out. A thought I’ve had more than once in my life.  (CIVIL WARRIOR: The raw, gritty truth about anxiety, depression, and workplace burnout, 2025).

My journey to mental well-being didn’t start with a passport stamp but with an authentic admission: “I’m struggling.” It started with honesty.

For years, I kept my mental health tucked away, sharing only the most polished, edited versions of my story—of who I was. I’ve since realized that living my best life comes with the messy, the colorful, and with unfettered honesty. 

And it was the only way to tap into  my inner CIVIL WARRIOR. My fierce and rational self that would eventually lead me to an elevated plane of peace and self-satisfaction.

Honesty leads to healing

I wasn’t always as open and honest about my mental health as I am today. It took years of therapy and self-relection to get to a place of raw, gritty, and unmitigated honesty. 

My twenties marked the beginning of my battle with anxiety and depression—and the start of my journey to wellness. I remember my first panic attack—the grip on my chest, the added weight of a shame-soaked wool blanket, and the feeling of ultimate dread in my gut. 

During this period of my life, with all its messiness, I was driven to carefully craft the alias of someone who was satisfied with life and living. Someone, at the time, who I was absolutely not. I wasn’t ready to be honest. Plain and simple.

Vulnerability felt risky, so I clung to my fake persona and adopted lying as my sole coping mechanism. I would be the person I wanted others to see…even if it killed me.

And it almost did.

 My internal family of parts

I’m a believer in the Internal Family System (IFS) model. IFS represents the multiplicity of the mind—that is, all the parts that make up my whole “Self”—like Love, Kindness, Common Sense, Compassion, Determination, Shame, Fear, and Strength. And, of course: Anxiety and Depression. They all have their own place in my brain and serve a unique purpose.

I view the Self as a network of personalities and subpersonalities, each with its own area of expertise. Anxiety is responsible for this, Fear is responsible for that, Depression makes me feel the other thing. My tribe of parts, like my big hillbilly family, is expansive. And like a lot of families, can be undeniably dysfunctional—sometimes living in harmony and other times in complete chaos. 

My pathway to sound mental health requires synthesis among my many parts. And it also requires that I put in the time to get to know them—their purpose, their place in Self. What I learned is that parts, like humans, are not all inherently bad or good, they're a little bit of both.

This epiphany elevated me out of a deep depression and put me on the road to a higher plane of existence. I now know that Anxiety’s purpose is not only to sound alerts that rile up stress and discomfort, but she (yes, I gave her form;I humanized her) also serves to push me to achieve greater things. 

All of this understanding about my brain, my parts, and how I handle them has led me to a place of even greater honesty—because I’m now comfortable and proud of who I am—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

My first-quarter-of-life crisis

My twenties represent a masterclass of my own making in managing anxiety (and depression). As well as coming to grips with the importance of honesty in well-being.

Back then I was like most people—I kept my struggles silent. I chose to handle things on my own for fear others would think less of me. This, of course, was merely a reflection of how I felt about myself at the time. A loser, a lost cause, a waste of space.

It wasn’t until a good 6 months into therapy that I decided to spill to my parents—when I welcomed in honesty with open arms. 

I told them about everything: My time in therapy, my panic attacks, my suicidal ideations. The whole gritty lot. This marked a major transition from a place of secrecy to unfettered authenticity. It also marked the start of my journey to healing and my deep dive into getting to know my parts—getting to know myself.

Where there’s vulnerability, honesty is never far behind. I quickly experienced the positive effects of being open and authentic. Others started sharing their own struggles, which made me feel less alone. It also opened up my parents, and what came spilling out was a family history in full color—further informing me about who I am and how I came to be. 

It was magical. All that time in hiding, all that time lying about who I was, I thought, what a waste. I had struck a gold mine of insight, truths, and confessions.

From there I started to put together “my Program”—my life plan. My blueprint for healthy living and maintaining a sound mental status. Over the years, I’ve added elements to my program when I feel myself being manipulated by anxiety or slipping into a funk. Today, exercise, a healthy diet, massage (physical touch in general), expressing gratitude, leaning on my higher powers (yes, plural…I have many), seeking professional help, and being honest are all part of a program that helps me maintain harmony among my many parts.

It took a complete mental breakdown in my twenties to realize that honesty—both with myself and others—is the first step toward healing. 

Embrace vulnerability

If you’re reading this and wrestling with anxiety or depression, just know that you are not alone. It’s never too late to be honest—with yourself and with others—and to take that first brave step toward the life you deserve.

Vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s a superpower! And one that can transport you to a place of inner peace, of understanding, and of healing. It can be the spark that ignites your own inner CIVIL WARRIOR to take action. To live honestly and without apology. And to take back your life.

Embrace it all and let your CIVIL WARRIOR roar. 

Kristy

Author of “Civil Warrior” due out on July 10, 2025

Pre-orders available now at Amazon and Barnes & Noble!